Why Overthinking Feels Productive — But Is Actually Self-Destructive

There’s a line from Revenge by Danger Mouse and Sparklehorse (feat. The Flaming Lips) that captures overthinking better than most psychology textbooks (link below):

https://youtu.be/E-86OH2JREQ?si=B4UdRY9R0IG6op0w

In my mind
I have shot you and stabbed you through your heart
I just didn't understand
The ricochet is the second part

'Cause you can't hide what you intend
It glows in the dark

Overthinking often feels like action.
Like preparation.
Like protection.

But most of the time, it’s closer to revenge turned inward.

Imagine this.

You’re driving to work.
Someone cuts you up badly.

“I can’t f***ing believe it.”
“You could have killed me.”

You replay it.
Your jaw tightens.
Your body floods with adrenaline.

Here’s the uncomfortable truth:

You never even saw their face.

They’re gone.
You’re still burning.

So who is actually being harmed by this reaction?

Not them.
Only you.

This is the paradox of overthinking: it feels justified—sometimes even moral—but it has no recipient. The energy has nowhere to go, so it loops back into the system that generated it.

That’s why overthinking escalates rather than resolves.
It doesn’t discharge threat.
It keeps it alive.

Forgiveness, in this context, isn’t a virtue.

It’s a nervous system strategy.

Letting go isn’t about kindness to someone else.
It’s about refusing to poison yourself over an event that has already passed.

Forgiveness is a selfish act.
And sometimes, selfish is exactly what regulation requires.

If this resonates and you want to explore it further—or book a session—you can find details below.

Free 20-minute consultation:
📧 luke@lbwcounselling.co.uk
🌐 lbwcounselling.co.uk